As printed in Target Marketing July 2007

You can’t hook a shark with Corn niblets ... and you can’t make a sale with the wrong headline.

How to write effective headlines that grab your prospects hook, line and sinker.

Thought I’m not a big fisherman, I often think of direct marketing as a fishing expedition. While general advertisers are more apt to cast a wide net and see what, if anything, they come up with. Direct marketers are more about using the right bait to catch the desired fish. Any expert angler can tell you, the wrong bait will get you nothing. That’s why the pros, the ones who succeed more often than not, spend significant time studying the fish, what they like to eat, when they like to eat and anything else they can know in order get a hit.

In ANY direct marketing effort, the headline is your bait! It either sucks a prospect in and encourages them to continue reading, or fails to interest them and loses the sale! The headline is your first line of attack! It’s your workhorse! And where significant thought time should be devoted. Using the wrong headline is like using the wrong bait. If you haven’t done your homework, not studied the market, the product or service or the targeted audience, and not crafted a headline that is loaded with benefits, you will get nothing!

On the other hand, good headline writing will make a prospect do exactly what you desire. With practice, anyone with a mind for marketing can master writing effective, interest-catching headlines.

I like to start any promo with the headline. It sets the stage for the rest of the mail package. It condenses everything into a single platform from which to build. Here’s how I do it ...

First, I study background materials to elicit the most intriguing, informative headlines. This includes any written materials, past or present controls, competitors info etc. Then, I take notes and mark good ideas so I don’t forget them. And as I read, I write down headline ideas that come to me.

As I go through this exercise, my aim is get to center of the issue. What does the product or service do that’s new and/or different? How does it help the user? Why should it be coveted? Next, I let it gel: I let it sit in my brain for a while.

That’s the idea germ process. Once I have 6 to 10 solid ideas, I’ll run it through this 12 rule gauntlet, what I believe are the elements and silver bullets of powerful, attention-getting headlines, to come up with a winner.

1. Keep it SHORT! (6-10 words)
2. Make it Punchy and Powerful with bold, vibrant words!
3. Use specifics. (numbers, names, places, etc.) No bland generalities
4. Doesn’t use big or hard-to-understand words.
5. Never use questions. (You can’t control their answer, and they may stop reading.)
6. Make the headine big and bold (where appropriate)
7. Make it compelling and captivating.
8. Capture, in 10 word or less, the ENTIRE ESSENCE of main benefit as well as all sub-benefits.
9. Make it easy to digest and have INSTANT connectivity to the prospect.
10. Avoid Humor, it mostly doesn’t work.
11. Make it positive, that will nearly always outpull negative.
12. Benefits … Benefits … Benefits! Answer the prospect’s question ... “What’s in it for ME!?”

Next I judge my headline. Is it intriguing? Does it make me want to know more? Does it solve a problem? Does it offer a solution? Does it speak of the very core benefit of what is being offered? Does it follow the 12 points?

Try it! Go through the process and you’ll likely come up with a winner too.

Stephen Kimball is the owner of Stephen Kimball DM Copywriting, based near Salt Lake City, Utah. He can be reached at stephen@skcopywriting.com or by calling (801)796-7234. Or visit www.skcopywriting.com

As presented to a standing-room-only crowd at DM Days NY 2005

Good afternoon.  My name is Stephen Kimball.  I’ve now been a DM copywriter for 11 years.   During this time, I’ve found that many copywriters seem to stumble into this profession by accident.  In my case, it was in 1984, my mom handed me the newly published Ogilvy on Advertising when I was a sophomore in high school, and said, “Stephen you’d make a good copywriter.  Here, read this.”

I read it immediately and I was hooked!  I felt I had found my true calling in life. That of an advertising copywriter.  After that, I never considered anything else.  My only diversion was this:

When I closed my eyes and saw myself in the world of advertising, I was here, in NY on Madison Avenue creating glitzy ads for Nike and Coke.  Churning out clever, witty advertising that the whole world would see.

After graduating with a degree in advertising, I began knocking on agency doors.  If any of you have ever tried to get a job as a copywriter with little useful experience right out of college, you know what a painful exercise that is.   No matter how good one might be, agencies want someone who can hit the ground running.

As fate would have it, and after offering to work for free, Peter Harrison, a sharp DM copywriter himself gave me a shot.  That would change my life and my feelings for advertising forever.  College failed to teach me that advertising needs to have a purpose beyond awareness.  Smart companies use advertising to sell things.  To get people to act now.  To educate, empower and tap into people’s minds and sell like a salesman would if he or she could be in everyone’s kitchen or living room to present their pitch.

After fully embracing my new advertising attitude and philosophy, I’ve now spent the last 11 years perfecting my skill by writing copy for nearly 200 different companies, selling everything imaginable. From health supplements, to collectible coins to software to exercise equipment.  But nearly as important, I’ve been learning about people and what makes them tick.

I eventually understood, and began to think a lot about the fact that people are largely the same types of creatures.  With the same basic wants, desire and needs.

As a copywriter, the better job I can do to intimately understand the prospect as I write, the better job I could do of connecting with them as a trusted friend.

And ultimately sell them something.

How many of you have heard of or listened to Delilah on the radio?  To be honest, I couldn’t stand to listen to her at first.  That was 10 years ago when I first heard her in Cleveland, and was still a relatively new DM copywriter. 

But over time I began to realize that while sappy and sweet, she had America’s ear.  She gets them to call her and tell her their problems.  And you and I, as direct marketers get to sit and listen to them for free!

It’s amazing fodder for good copy!   She has a unique insight into the hearts of the very people you want to sell things to.  She gets them to open up about the things they deal with everyday.  Now, with that in mind, I’m going to switch gears for moment,

This is a fact, at any given time, you can expect that about 5% of your target audience are ready to purchase your product or service.  Now, if you used that as a measure of response, some of you would be overjoyed, some would be disappointed. But 5%, on average is not a bad response rate.

Now, do me a favor, I’m going to ask you to be interactive.  Raise your hand, if you know of a friend or loved one suffering with arthritis. Now, again, by show of hands how many of you know someone who wants to have their own business.   Again, how many know someone who wants to lose weight?  How about someone who is in poor financial shape?

My point is that these are common issues.  And these buying groups are large.  And we could go on and on identifying different groups.

You must realize this, for all these groups, human emotion is the instigator of their buying decisions. Good copywriters use the power of intuition to tap into the heart of a prospect. The 5% I spoke about are easy targets.  The other 95% need to convinced and sold on a deeper level in order to make a sale.

Think about the last piece of nice furniture you bought.  Did you think much about the price?  I’m going to guess you are in the norm and did consider price quite a bit.  But it wasn’t the price really, it was “could you afford it.” Would it hurt you financially?  Emotional issues.

Did you think about how it would look in your house? Do you think about how others might perceive it?  Would your taste be judged as tacky, or will they be impressed?  Again, emotional issues.

Everyone, no matter what we think, has the same base human emotions and needs  -- everyone wants 1) more money and prosperity, 2) better or continued health and 3)  love and better relationships.   So you might ask, well how does an obscure consumer product, like golf clubs, pens, or software fulfill one of these categories.

Try to think about the product or service in terms of what need it might fill emotionally. Golf clubs, for example fulfill feelings of pride, (perceived money).  Speaking to the prospect about prestige, owning the best club available and perfecting their game are all emotional copy points.  Copy that is read at an emotional level is going to be far more effective than copy that only tries to sell based on features. For me, copy that appeals to real life issues and needs in my life gets my attention.

People want security. They want to be spoken to in a language they speak and understand.  Not like a salesman who only cares about his commission.  Maybe some of you know of one of today’s more popular authors, Nicholas Sparks.   I consider him a true master of reproducing real life human emotion, and thoughts. He knows how to write in a language that people say, “Wow, that’s really how life is. That’s really how relationships and feelings are. That’s really how arguments between people sound. That’s how I would feel too.  In short, his fiction is rooted in very real emotion.  And my guess is he would make an amazing copywriter.

And copy has the ability to be written in the same emotional manner.   Let me tell you a bit about what makes a good copywriter …  freelance copywriters like myself are hired guns.  We can’t play favorites.  And we must change who we are all the time.

We may be: One day we may be a 65 year old woman in poor health.  The next day we may be a 45 year old Wall Street banker concerned about his job.

The next we may be a brain surgeon trying to stay on top of the learning curve.  And the next a frustrated stay-at-home Mom. This requires understanding, in detail, what makes a particular prospect tick.  How does that prospect think? What do they feel?  What are their fears and hopes?  How do we create copy that will sell them something?

The copywriter needs to literally feel these varied situations … without actually being any of them.  How do they do it …

The best copywriters are extremely passionate. They are very emotional. 

If not copywriters, they would make brilliant lawyers. Skilled psychologists.  Crack researchers.  High-grossing salesmen.  They are also master manipulators and sharp business people.

They possess the ability to poke their finger into the soul of a prospect and convince them to act now.

They are great “understanders.” They empathize. They imagine and project. They assume with great accuracy. They make educated guesses like no one else. They can read a 6-inch stack of material for your product or service, digest it, internalize it, and churn out the very essence of it in a single headline.

So how can you posses this skill?  It may not happen immediately.   It will take some time and practice.  But I assume, at some level, this is important to you. So whether your responsibility is to write or evaluate copy, you can use certain techniques to make yourself a better writer, owner, editor or visionary.

I submit these 5 points will help;

• Read everything and become a student of people. Books, magazines, cereal boxes. Immerse yourself even in things you have no interest in. And take interest in everything! Exposure and experience comes through absorption. I had the good fortune to grow up close by here on Long Island.  I also spent 2 years in Hong Kong, 5 years in Utah and 10 years in Ohio. I learned valuable things about people living in these extremely varied places.  Obviously, you can’t move around the world to gain experience and insight, but you can be an observant traveler.  Learn from the places you visit. See what drives the people. What are their beliefs, values and opinions? Be an eavesdropper. 

I remember in trying to get that first job with Peter Harrison out of college. As part of my interview, he gave me the assignment to write a mail package for a financial product for elderly people. As I rode a public bus back home, I happened to be sitting by two elderly men who just happened to be discussing their financial woes. What great stuff I picked up! Better than a focus group. It was honest, unsolicited. The real stuff great copy is made of!  And I used it to write a package that landed me the job.

• Talk to everyone. Your brain has the ability to store far more than is put in it. Fill it with conversation and observation you have with people. That’s how you build mental images.  My wife sometimes gets a bit annoyed with my habit of speaking and questioning everyone. I love to talk to strangers. To start down a road, and have them open up. Then continue to ask them questions until they are telling me very personal feelings and about their life situations. One eternal truth is this: People love to talk about themselves. Some of you know people who are great at asking lots of questions during conversation. Most people only keep their conversations on a superficial questions.  They are afraid to really probe. You need to become part investigator. 

• Before writing or evaluating copy, create a real image of your prospect.  No matter what product or service you are trying to sell, you have to start by defining and imagining your prospect. Write down everything you know about them … where they live. What they drive. What they read.  How many kids they have. And where they shop. Write down 20 things you know about them and study it.  Make it your company mascot. Your bread and butter. Your goldmine. So many businesses owners or marketing directors are good at running the operation. But they don’t take enough time to study the ones buying their product or service. Their attention to understanding their prime prospect drives the focus for understanding the prospect for the whole company.  To ignore this is a marketing sin!

• Do your homework on the internet. Data about people isn’t as good as real stuff you can find in the internet. Use Google to expose yourself to everything about your product/service and prospect.  Write down your thoughts and feelings and observations as you go. Blogs are an interesting new tool.  They are our world’s new opinion board. Soapboxes that anyone can contribute to.  Always knowing the emotional state of the average citizen will help you connect with them. Plus, you can see what people think of your industry, product or service It’s important to stay connected to the news and have your pulse on the national vibe.

• Think from your heart and soul. Not your brain. You have to feel like they feel.  Sometimes data and boardroom plans and strategies, in reality, don’t help prospects react to a promotion. No matter what everyone thought.  Often a great idea is just that, a great idea. But it has to be an applicable, common sense idea.  Before money is spent, and copy is printed, someone, the copywriter, the creative director, the product manager, the president of the company, has to look at the copy, and ask, does this speak to the emotional makeup and needs of our typical prospect? Does is make them feel comfortable, answer and anticipate their questions and objections?  Does it make them feel good about making a buying decision.  Does it speak to them as a person with needs, instead of like a piece of data.

These 5 things will help you “get into” the head of your prospect and serve them better. Speak to them.  Connect with them. And sell to them.  You’ll think how they think.  Feel how they feel.   Act like they act.

Right now people are in debt, they are in pain, they are having difficult relationships. They are ready to be catered to.  They have money to spend. Everyone is looking for safety, security, optimism and good relationships.

Let me tell you a story. Recently, Mother’s day in fact, I was supposed to be putting my 2 and a half year old son to bed, and instead we were playing, with him jumping off my chest.  Well, one of his jumps was poorly placed and he hit his head on a corner of a wall that jutted out.  Split his forehead open.  How quickly things changed.  We’d been having a perfectly pleasant day and then sudden panic.  How many of you have ever rushed to an emergency room?  What emotions did you feel?  Fear, worry, financial concerns. Aggravation from waiting. Stress.   If you’ve ever been there, you know it’s a bit scary.  Think about that moment.  You had a problem and what did do you want:

If it were possible to get any of that from your typical emergency room, while in the moment, most of us would pay a premium for it.  It’s all about timing.

My actions were based on emotion.  The price of services rendered was not a motivating factor.

Let me ask you, what was the last funny thing you remember?  The last thing you laughed hilariously at?  Now with that front and center in your mind, Let me ask you this,  what’s your biggest problem today? What, in the back of your mind are you very worried about in your life?  Money?  A relationship? Legal problems?  Business going badly?

Do you see how quickly I took you from pleasant to glum?  All our emotions, fear, joy, sadness, anger are ready to come out at any time and usually instantly

Our days are filled with emotional triggers.  Our minds drift in and out of various thoughts, good and bad, all day, everyday.  That’s human nature. Ands here’s the key: Your marketing, your direct mail, your web promo, TV or radio ad can act as triggers for those in pain, in debt, or to solve a problem or satisfy a need.

I challenge you, to make your advertising copy work harder for the money you spend on it plus, the other money invested in a marketing effort, make sure it hits at an emotional level.

I thank you for your time. I hope that you’ve learned something that will help you make your copy work harder.    And speak better to your prospects.

One last thought:  My best friend is a psychologist.  He often tells me how much fun it would be to write advertising copy.  And he probably wouldn’t be half bad at it. And I think it would be fun to jump in on some of his therapy sessions and see if I can help people sort out their problems.

In thinking about the difference between he and I, I discovered this, people go to him with their problem looking for answers. As direct marketers we go to them with solutions to their problems.

As Published in DM News

Evaluating Copy When You're Not a Copywriter

 
By Stephen Kimball, Stephen Kimball DM Copywriting
January 27th, 2006

It happens all the time. You hire an agency or freelance writer to create copy for your company's product or service ... the due date arrives ... the project is submitted to you ... and now you have to decide: Is it going to do the job?

You're not a copywriter. So what do you do?

No writing source is perfect, and you are wise to do your own evaluation in order to protect your investment, even if it's the 100th project from a writer who has performed well in the past. After all, chances are you paid a lot of money for it, because good copywriting isn't cheap. But it's not always good, no matter how much you paid.

Judging new creative can fall in the lap of many people: the company owner, president, marketing director or others. If you are not a creative type but your money is on the line, what can you look for? How can you feel confident about what you are about to spend even more money on to get placed, printed and mailed? Here are seven checks and balances to help you judge new direct response copy:

Does it pass the "If I were in their shoes" test? Too often people say, "I'd never open that" or "I'd never respond to that." Well, maybe it's not for you! Go outside yourself and focus on your target audience. Rich? Poor? Male? Female? Educated? Old? Young? Gather the information needed to get a clear image of your prospect in your mind and then think, "If I were them, and in their circumstances, would this appeal to me?" Think about how they might react and whether it hits the target based on their wants, need and desires.

Does the headline make you want to keep reading? Whether it be a direct mail package, space ad, Web promo or any printed promotion: Is the headline too long? Too boring? Too unbelievable? Too complicated? Or does it suck you in and make you want to learn more? A good headline is short, specific and benefit-oriented, and it makes you want to read the subhead and then the copy. A bad headline can sink the whole effort.

Does the copy flow like a well-thought-out legal argument? Does it follow a logical sales path? Are objections dealt with early? Disjointed or unorganized copy frustrates readers and encourages them to stop reading. The copy needs a strong start; smooth, informative sailing in the middle and a powerful call to action at the end.

Were your questions answered? As you read and form questions about the product or offer, does the copy anticipate those questions and deal with them in a positive way? Every reader forms some type of question as she reads. Good copy anticipates the potential buying hurdles and deals with them.

Do you think, "I think this offer would be better if it had ___"? As you read, think about what may be missing. What could sweeten the pot? A better price. Another premium. A stronger guarantee. An expiration date. A discount. Free shipping. Another insert or copy block that strengthens the sales argument. Those small things can affect response in a big way.

Is it easy to read? The average American reads comfortably at an eighth-grade level. Does your copy avoid long words? It is compelling yet easy to understand? Does it flow from sentence to sentence and from paragraph to paragraph to lay out a carefully crafted sales pitch, with an easy-to-understand call to action at the end? Clever words, long words, big words or seldom-used words act as stumbling blocks for readers.

Are you proud of it? Does it represent the benefits of your product, service and/or offer? Your creative should be the best foot forward for your company. Do you think it is the best representative for your company? It should extol your virtues and benefits and explain why you rise above your competition. It should educate and help readers understand why they should act now. If you think it doesn't portray your company/product in its best light, ask for a tweak or rewrite.

If you can breeze through these seven questions and the new copy still makes you smile, chances are you have a potential winner. If not, go back to the writer and share your thoughts. After all, it's your money.

As Printed in DM News:

With Americans Tightening Their Belts Today, Direct Mail Packages Need This More Than Ever …

After writing well over 1,000 mail packages in 14 years, I've been asked many times, "What’s the ‘most important part’ of a direct mail package?" The offer ... the headline ... the P.S. ... the envelope ... price point ... design?  And my answer is that's it's ALL important!  Especially in today’s market, with Americans tightening their belt even more, no mail offer can afford not to be perfect. You can't afford to let ANY of the parts fail! 

However, if forced to pick ONE element that often causes a mail package to "fail," it's lack of personal connection. What I mean is that it fails to connect with the reader. It comes across as a sterile, corporate, non-personal communication that fails to get one step in front of the reader, and know before-hand, what their thoughts, feelings, ideas and hesitations are about your product or service. 

A direct mail package is supposed to be a PERSONAL letter from a real person. Yet, so many simply aren’t. It has to go way beyond simply adding a signature at the end of a sales letter! It has to be an emotional mail package. It has to be written with emotion so it causes emotion from the reader. So yes, the offer has to be red- hot and appealing, too good to pass up ... the headline must be bold, specific, powerful and intriguing ... the P.S. must make the reader want to go see what they’ve missed if they only read the P.S. ... the envelope HAS to make them want to tear it open to see what's inside ... the price has to make sense and be affordable for the audience ... and the design has to be pleasing to the eye and help them walk down the intended path to the Order Form. 

But beyond these crucial elements, personality, common sense and intuition are too often missing. When the various parts of a mail package come together correctly, connectivity is the big part that makes it a great piece of advertising. Any copywriter can go down the checklist and make sure all the "parts" are there, but today, adding a big dose of personal emotion is a “must-have” to make a sale.